oh, today. it's been a weird kind of emotional day.
i'm just tired. not in a physical sense, but just plain tired.
weary is the word.
constantly feeling as though i need to defend myself and my decisions.
i'm even defending them to myself sometimes.
feeling separated. likely self-induced at least in part.
ready to leave commerce, and not ready to leave commerce.
not sure if i can take the heartbreak of it again.
thus bringing the self-induced separation.
gotta love defense mechanisms.
choosing paths.
uncertainty and judgment all around.
i guess today it all just hit me at once.
and yesterday was such a good day too.
i suppose my bottle-it-up approach doesn't always work the way it's intended to. haha.
right now i'm gonna try the "be still and know that I am God" approach.
that one never fails.
i'm free of all of this. now i should just live like it.
here's to a better day!
-lovingly-
k
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