today i felt like i'm starting to get the hang of life. i know that means i'm not going to feel that way very long.
monday i get to ask a congressman some questions, and i don't know what i'm going to ask him. pressure.
i'm starting to come around to the thought that i just might be a writer [in some capacity] for the rest of my life, but that doesn't mean that that's all i have to be. [cue light bulb]
i'm gonna wait for the extraordinary, no matter how much i want to settle sometimes.
it's official. i will be a fifth-year senior for the whole year. and i'm hoping it goes quickly.
i lack courage, but i'm getting there. slooooowly.
i'm thinking of cheering next year. i have to decide if i miss it that much.
on this night, friday night, i'm going to bed early. way early. i'm tired.
my internet is being ridiculous, so i apologize if you feel i've neglected our internet friendship in any way.
i'm pretty much out of things to say. perhaps more sometime soon.
have a blessed day!
-lovingly-
k
p.s. i am currently searching for cheaper living arrangements. suggestions welcome. roommates welcome. call me.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
highway eighty.
earlier this week i drove to wills point, a place very dear to me from my childhood years. my journey started down highway eighty. you might as well have called it memory lane. i drove past so many places that were almost replaying my memories right before my eyes. it was amazing really, and even thinking about it now i can't help but smile just a little bit.
it starts by driving past ham's orchard where i worked for the better part of one summer. that's where i learned to pick out good fruit, how to deal with old people, and the value of good peach ice cream. even those who drove the train by the stand knew that stopping was worth it just for the ice cream. people come in buses to have really good fruit carried out with a smile [and an aching back]. it's good stuff.
then you drive through the big curves on your way to elmo. you go underneath the bridge where when i was a kid i was told you had to hold your breath when passing beneath it in hopes that it wouldn't fall on your head.
next comes the fina station. which now is actually a phillips sixty-six, but to me and my family will always be the fina. that's how you know you've made it to elmo, that little speck on the map that i spent some great years in. then there are some of the familiar other places like aunt kate's barbeque and the fireworks stand and the feed store and more.
after that come the houses. this one older man used to let us [us being my neighborhood friends, my sister, and i] play in his trees. we had many a clubhouse in many a tree. i even saw the really big tree that my older friends and i had our secret club in. i remember that i lied and said i was one place and really we were at that tree. they thought i had run away, and my mom came home from work early just crying and then she got mad and grounded me. i was ungrounded [if that's the right word] by the next morning. the lesson is not to lie, kids. the next house you pass is lance's old house. lance was one of kelsey's first boyfriends [thanks to jason, neighborhood boy, and i--at least i think his name was jason]. we would play at his house a lot because he lived next door to my grandfather, and we lived with my grandfather at the time. our families would carpool.
the next house is my grandfather's, my pepaw. i could say so many things about that house. i loved that playhouse he built for us. i remember vividly playing on the swing set and running around in his trees pretending that i knew how to use a compass. there was also the time when i was stranded in my treehouse because there was a snake at the bottom of my ladder. i don't know what we would have done without roy lee there to get rid of it, one way or another. driving the go cart in the back and being thrown out of it by my little sister's first drive. seeing our welded bethlehem star in the christmas season. family reunions and playing blitz with the grown-ups and winning are also among my favorite memories there. playing crack the egg on our rectangular trampoline, and exploring everywhere and asking questions so that i could write my own little news stories. i guess i was always a reporter. now the house is the home of not just my pepaw but my older sister malissa and her husband and their dogs. i'm glad to know that it will be part of our family for a long time.
after pepaw's house, we pass good old estate lane. home of max and pat along with their annual nativity scene, and the infamous trailer we used to live in, a regular lap of luxury. it had a whole wall of windows in the living room, and when it rained the front yard was one big puddle. mr. kitty, our cat, would sit on the roof when it rained. he refused to move when we did. i bet he's still around there sitting on rooftops in the pouring rain.
later we come to the place of my early education, wills point i.s.d. it brought back a lot too...walking to school, riding the bus, my childhood best friends, and so much more. even though i didn't get to go into the schools that i went to, i did get to see the new high school. now it's not so new, but i think i will always call it that. it reminds of malissa's high school graduation and running from the stadium to the gym in the torrents of rain while pepaw is holding me and our umbrella is turning inside out. goodness, we were cold during the whole ceremony. at the new high school, i also saw some old family friends. everyone is growing up so quickly. it's amazing to me how many years i have already lived.
though just a 20-30 minute drive from my home, it was almost like traveling into a whole different world. my memories were relived right before my eyes. i will always hold them dear. i wish everyone a happy childhood. and if you didn't get one, don't worry. there is still time. you know what they say, growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. thank goodness for options.
it starts by driving past ham's orchard where i worked for the better part of one summer. that's where i learned to pick out good fruit, how to deal with old people, and the value of good peach ice cream. even those who drove the train by the stand knew that stopping was worth it just for the ice cream. people come in buses to have really good fruit carried out with a smile [and an aching back]. it's good stuff.
then you drive through the big curves on your way to elmo. you go underneath the bridge where when i was a kid i was told you had to hold your breath when passing beneath it in hopes that it wouldn't fall on your head.
next comes the fina station. which now is actually a phillips sixty-six, but to me and my family will always be the fina. that's how you know you've made it to elmo, that little speck on the map that i spent some great years in. then there are some of the familiar other places like aunt kate's barbeque and the fireworks stand and the feed store and more.
after that come the houses. this one older man used to let us [us being my neighborhood friends, my sister, and i] play in his trees. we had many a clubhouse in many a tree. i even saw the really big tree that my older friends and i had our secret club in. i remember that i lied and said i was one place and really we were at that tree. they thought i had run away, and my mom came home from work early just crying and then she got mad and grounded me. i was ungrounded [if that's the right word] by the next morning. the lesson is not to lie, kids. the next house you pass is lance's old house. lance was one of kelsey's first boyfriends [thanks to jason, neighborhood boy, and i--at least i think his name was jason]. we would play at his house a lot because he lived next door to my grandfather, and we lived with my grandfather at the time. our families would carpool.
the next house is my grandfather's, my pepaw. i could say so many things about that house. i loved that playhouse he built for us. i remember vividly playing on the swing set and running around in his trees pretending that i knew how to use a compass. there was also the time when i was stranded in my treehouse because there was a snake at the bottom of my ladder. i don't know what we would have done without roy lee there to get rid of it, one way or another. driving the go cart in the back and being thrown out of it by my little sister's first drive. seeing our welded bethlehem star in the christmas season. family reunions and playing blitz with the grown-ups and winning are also among my favorite memories there. playing crack the egg on our rectangular trampoline, and exploring everywhere and asking questions so that i could write my own little news stories. i guess i was always a reporter. now the house is the home of not just my pepaw but my older sister malissa and her husband and their dogs. i'm glad to know that it will be part of our family for a long time.
after pepaw's house, we pass good old estate lane. home of max and pat along with their annual nativity scene, and the infamous trailer we used to live in, a regular lap of luxury. it had a whole wall of windows in the living room, and when it rained the front yard was one big puddle. mr. kitty, our cat, would sit on the roof when it rained. he refused to move when we did. i bet he's still around there sitting on rooftops in the pouring rain.
later we come to the place of my early education, wills point i.s.d. it brought back a lot too...walking to school, riding the bus, my childhood best friends, and so much more. even though i didn't get to go into the schools that i went to, i did get to see the new high school. now it's not so new, but i think i will always call it that. it reminds of malissa's high school graduation and running from the stadium to the gym in the torrents of rain while pepaw is holding me and our umbrella is turning inside out. goodness, we were cold during the whole ceremony. at the new high school, i also saw some old family friends. everyone is growing up so quickly. it's amazing to me how many years i have already lived.
though just a 20-30 minute drive from my home, it was almost like traveling into a whole different world. my memories were relived right before my eyes. i will always hold them dear. i wish everyone a happy childhood. and if you didn't get one, don't worry. there is still time. you know what they say, growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. thank goodness for options.
Friday, March 16, 2007
in honor of ole saint patrick.
"I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity.
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of creation.
I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the judgment of Doom.
I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In prayers of patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.
I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Frimness of rock.
I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.
I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel, merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.
Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,S
o that there may come to me abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of creation."
--saint patrick's breastplate
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity.
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of creation.
I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the judgment of Doom.
I arise today
Through the strength of the love of cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of resurrection to meet with reward,
In prayers of patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteous men.
I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Frimness of rock.
I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.
I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel, merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.
Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,S
o that there may come to me abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of creation."
--saint patrick's breastplate
clouds.
some days i wish that the way clear, and that i am not just standing here watching the sky waiting for the cloud to move so that i may follow.
be still, surrender. that's the voice in my heart.
the cloud moves in good time. and it moves me just far enough. it's the waiting that hurts.
be still, surrender. that's the voice in my heart.
the cloud moves in good time. and it moves me just far enough. it's the waiting that hurts.
Monday, March 12, 2007
this time around...
this time around...
i feel like a stranger in a familiar place.
i'm sad that most of my friends are gone already.
i miss living in the bustling kay dee house.
i kinda enjoy the peace of my own place.
i want something amazing, and i'm determined not to settle.
i'm not in such a rush to graduate.
graduation is still coming quickly on my heels with less than a year to go.
i'm sad that i don't get to spend as much time on campus or with people.
i'm glad that i don't have to spend 15 hours a week in the panhellenic office making decisions about silly things. [oh the pressure]
however, i miss that panhellenic president meant free lunch once every 2 weeks.
i miss having a say.
i like not having the pressure of having a say.
i like to surprise people that don't know i'm back.
i like it when people are happy to see me after so long.
i'm walking the walk for the right reasons.
i miss ouachita some days.
i'm going to enjoy life a little more.
this time around.
i feel like a stranger in a familiar place.
i'm sad that most of my friends are gone already.
i miss living in the bustling kay dee house.
i kinda enjoy the peace of my own place.
i want something amazing, and i'm determined not to settle.
i'm not in such a rush to graduate.
graduation is still coming quickly on my heels with less than a year to go.
i'm sad that i don't get to spend as much time on campus or with people.
i'm glad that i don't have to spend 15 hours a week in the panhellenic office making decisions about silly things. [oh the pressure]
however, i miss that panhellenic president meant free lunch once every 2 weeks.
i miss having a say.
i like not having the pressure of having a say.
i like to surprise people that don't know i'm back.
i like it when people are happy to see me after so long.
i'm walking the walk for the right reasons.
i miss ouachita some days.
i'm going to enjoy life a little more.
this time around.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
just a few things about me... lately
i'm missing [no, craving] community of late. i need it desperately.
in everything i do i have begun to examine not just the actions or thoughts but the motivations behind them.
discerning God's will can be both the easiest and the hardest thing. right now, it's the hardest.
much of my life is spent in auto-pilot mode. not such a good thing.
i'm currently thinking of moving to seattle post-graduation. but only a thought it most likely will remain. perhaps not.
i don't think i'm cut out for the hardcore journalism thing. perhaps i should have pursued the pr angle a little more. oh, well.
i am still very much a writer nonetheless.
i'm trying to be more open to people. it takes time. shyness doesn't disappear overnight unfortunately.
i wish i knew my next step.
GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.
God is faithful when i am not.
i'm giving up dr. pepper and watching less tv.
that just gives me more time to think, as if i needed any.
i'm sorting out my selfish ambitions.
i love this weather. it's pretty much perfect.
i should have thought it through more when i said i missed being to busy to breathe.
i am trying to banish all "what-ifs" from my mind and my heart.
i am working on being transformed rather than conformed.
i am finding my own faith.
communication is a pitfall of mine.
i am seeing the already/not-fully aspects of my life quite clearly.
everyone should listen to the relevant magazine podcast. it's awesome.
i have discovered that my right foot is the one that trips me up at least twice a day.
my goal this weekend is to clean like a mad woman.
have a blessed day.
-lovingly-
k
in everything i do i have begun to examine not just the actions or thoughts but the motivations behind them.
discerning God's will can be both the easiest and the hardest thing. right now, it's the hardest.
much of my life is spent in auto-pilot mode. not such a good thing.
i'm currently thinking of moving to seattle post-graduation. but only a thought it most likely will remain. perhaps not.
i don't think i'm cut out for the hardcore journalism thing. perhaps i should have pursued the pr angle a little more. oh, well.
i am still very much a writer nonetheless.
i'm trying to be more open to people. it takes time. shyness doesn't disappear overnight unfortunately.
i wish i knew my next step.
GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.
God is faithful when i am not.
i'm giving up dr. pepper and watching less tv.
that just gives me more time to think, as if i needed any.
i'm sorting out my selfish ambitions.
i love this weather. it's pretty much perfect.
i should have thought it through more when i said i missed being to busy to breathe.
i am trying to banish all "what-ifs" from my mind and my heart.
i am working on being transformed rather than conformed.
i am finding my own faith.
communication is a pitfall of mine.
i am seeing the already/not-fully aspects of my life quite clearly.
everyone should listen to the relevant magazine podcast. it's awesome.
i have discovered that my right foot is the one that trips me up at least twice a day.
my goal this weekend is to clean like a mad woman.
have a blessed day.
-lovingly-
k
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
